Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/jxqgzou
Initially, I thought this book was simply a collection of Christian hymns and music, but the opening starts in a manner befitting historical fiction. It begins with the Massacre of the innocents, in which King Herod send his soldiers to kill all male children in order to murder the newly born Jesus, who is foretold to be the King of Kings. This would be fine to start out with, if it wasn't so confusing as to which 'king' the soldiers were talking about during any given sentence. I understand the author wants to make a parallel between Jesus and Herod, since they are both kings, but you really need to make the distinction clear and not refer to them both as 'king' constantly. I'm not going to discuss how factual any of this is to what the Bible says of these men and their actions, only that I am reluctant to paint anyone involved in the murders as a irredeemable villain. These were different times, with different cultures and ways of handling things. Had a solider disobeyed Herod's order, they would have likely been killed for treason. And that's not to say that all the soldiers did commit murder during this night. However, the book makes the claim that the people were warned to get the hell out of dodge by men at an inn and the civilians ignored it. While the narrator does say that these people figured that there was no way the king would really order the death of their children, it's like saying that it's their fault their children died since they didn't heed the warning and leave. It's no ones fault save for Herod and any soldier that went through with the massacre. Another odd thing with the writing is this: 'His commandment from the King was not to take, it was to kill. Every child in the town living under the guiding star the magic men had followed...' Magic men? The Wise Men were very knowledgeable (likely being scholars and perhaps kings themselves) and aware of the prophesy of the Messiah if not, at least, aware that a special person was born and that they should locate him and give gifts. They had nothing to do with magic as far as I know. Then again, I don't know the origin of the word 'magi,' so perhaps magic had something to do with their schooling at the time. And then comes the end of this opening. I understand the author is trying to make an analogy between the massacre and Jesus dying on the cross, but see, here's the thing: 'The General raised his weapon. The mother cried out in agony: my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? He methodically lowered the blade and laid the steel tip on the baby’s breast. He cautiously and callously pierced the soft skin surrounding the ribcage causing a single drop of blood to spill. He paused to consider his task, ignorant to the wild shrieks and wailing about him. Soullessly, he pushed the blade into the baby’s chest perforating his lung. The boy exhaled a final time. Then with one last, horrid and hateful thrust, he impaled the infant with his sword leaving the baby to hang in oblivion on the cross post. There they were together in this time: a king and his henchmen, a persecuted people, three wise men, a mother and her newborn son—the Savior of the world—crucified on the cross.' Yeah, but no. This doesn't work due to the fact that if Jesus had died as a baby, He would have never fulfilled His mission. On top of this, Jesus didn't die on the cross as a baby. This isn't even a good metaphor or transition into what He would later do in life. This is upsetting to me, because this never happened in the Bible and ruins the message of hope that Jesus brought with His birth. What I think this author wanted to do is offer the story of Jesus' life as if it was happening in modern time and that somehow would make it more relevant to the unsaved of today. Only...why? How does this actually help those who are lost find God when, really, the only people who will be picking up this book are already religious? If you want to know Christ, don't bother with this book and instead find someone in the belief to talk to. Maybe attend a few different churches on Sunday. There are also churches you can stream online and forums you can visit to ask questions. If you feel tugged to go one way or another, fallow that feeling. You can only learn by experiencing life. God will help you. It may not be obvious at first, but He is there. Extra: 'He had ordered that the fire be set after Emmanuel’s death, not before. He wanted to ensure that there were no physical remains for his followers to claim. Emmanuel’s promise that he would pass from death to life would be proven a fairy tale fiction, determined Herold.' Right, because 'fairy tale' and 'fiction' don't mean the same thing. I got you. Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/j2yfsaq
This is a very, very wordy book. Also, all the historical name throwing might be interesting to history buffs, but is unneeded. If you say you are in the west during the days of cowboys and Indians, I will believe you. Both of these elements hurt your book and makes you look like you're trying to show off. A reader doesn't care how vast your knowledge of the old west is, all she wants is a good story. There are a few typos, such as a random comma, and a few sentences that start with conjunctions. On top of that, there is so much narration in this. Even when we finally have another person with the main character, all we get is more narration. I'd really like to see character interaction, as opposed to being told that it happened. Redundancies are also an issue. Take this sentence for example: '"Don't care much about the bank," said Eddie. "Our money goes right back into bread, bacon, and eggs— and windows," he added. "We are running down a railroad track, and if we stop we'll get run right over by a freight train," Eddie said.' Author, I know who's talking here. You don't need to inform me that it's the same person after every sentence he says. It's interesting to see a book talk about segregation, since it was a fact of life back then. I often forget that, likely because we live in a day and age where racism isn't tolerated. While it might be due to the fact that I simply don't read westerns, I find this an odd turn of phrase: "It was the boy in the lead that had been the talker. He was a tall, lean drink of water..." 'Drink of water'? What does that mean? This is the problems with using metaphoric phrases, some are strictly regional while others often become archaic. When writing a period piece, it's important to insure that a reader understands your metaphor by using other information to determine what it means without too much guess work. Honestly, you could avoid it all together and just take the phrase out and it wouldn't hurt the sentence. There's also reference to a 'double barreled choke bore Greener,' which I have no idea what that is, save that it must be some kind of gun. Perhaps an early shotgun. I'm sure it's super neat to write about weapons used in the Wild West, but unless you're only writing this book for gun fans, you need to tell the average reader a bit more about it. Despite these problems, I liked Gunfighter's Justice and can easily recommend it to any western fan. To anyone who isn't a western fan, pick it up. There's nothing here that will alienate you from an interesting tale and you will enjoy it. Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/zvh658g
"If Cinderella carried a gun, and was just as set on committing murder as on finding her prince..." is a very poor quote, as all the main character is is another run of the mill Mary Sue that you can find in any My Immortal based fanfiction. Talia is annoyingly similar to Ebony, even going out of her way to become a complete and utter twat to her boyfriend by page six. '“You’re so beautiful Talia.” Kellar smiles up at me in the candlelight...I feel myself blushing and reach over to chuck a tasselled cushion at him. “Shut up idiot!”' Forgetting that there should be a comma between up and idiot and that tasseled is misspelled, how childish is she to insult her boyfriend, who just went on a date with her and had sex with her. You have no idea how much I want to choke Talia right now! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Talia is a seamstress who has lost all of her family to douche-bag McGee and eeks out a difficult living selling her fashions at a rather crappy boutique. Or at least the author says it's a difficult living, considering the author also says that Talia sells out of her wares and has to go back and get more from her inventory. Granted, this is attributed to her boyfriend, Keller, being 'amazing' and 'wonderful' and 'dashing' with the customers despite the fact that she wasn't interested in him being at her shop in the first place (since he's a solider and it'd make her look like a criminal) and only seems to change her tune due to the fact that he brings her income. This story, in much the same way Vengeance was, is a story about...well, vengeance. Talia's great goal in life, constantly referred to as 'The Plan', is to kill the warlord that ruined her life...which despite the so called hardships doesn't seem to be a bad life. And yet, somehow it is. I will never understand why perfect characters are so bitchy and miserable. Is it because they realize that they are so perfect that nothing interesting ever happens to them? ‘Oh, woe is me! I’m such a super special snowflake! Look how hard my life is thanks to this villain that’s just here for me to be awesome!’ The story sets up some kind of fantasy world. It seems similar to our own, as Talia mentions that Keller is a pilot and they talk about trains, but nothing is ever explained. How does this world work? I dunno. How technologically advanced is the world? Who knows? What makes all this worse is that the story simply doesn't cover basic events, such as when Talia and Keller have sex in his quarters. I had to guess by the fact that Talia mentions that she picked up her dress off the floor when a sentence before she was talking about the drapes and tapestries in Keller's room. Talia also goes on a tirade about how her boyfriend doesn't really love her when Keller says he does. Then when he gets angry that she's being a dick, I can't really blame him. Yes, she mentions that Keller is known to have dated a lot of women before her, but it would be nice to be 'shown' this. Talia says that gossip gets around in the camps, so why not use the fact that she has to go back for more clothing? Add in more descriptive detailed about the people and the environment. Have her bypass a group of women talking about her, thus revealing this to the reader by someone other means than Talia think bubbling it all. Then we can have her narration about her feelings, which are shown by her happy mood being darkened with self-doubt. And to show how much he does love her, or at least how well he knows and cares for Talia, Keller could wave off a patron and quietly ask her what's wrong and reassure her. It would be much more adult and natural than the childish way she's acting. Oh, and please take out that digesting scene of where sex makes everything better after this fight because I seriously hate this trope. Sex does not equal love. Taming Tigers by Daisy White is easy to read, so you can slip right into it but only people much younger than I whose brains haven't matured past knee jerk reactions and silliness will enjoy this book. And even if you're at the age that likes this crap, AVOID this and go read something else, like anything by Jamie Sedgwick. Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/hb4mxgv
Do you like opening up a book and having a guy talk nonstop about conspiracy theories at you? No? I don't either, but that's exactly what I got when I opened up Deep Cover by Michael Levine. I read the first page, right after acknowledgements, and all I could think as I read was, "GET ON WITH IT!" I understand that Mr. Levine is a former DEA agent, and that he and other DEA agents have been dealt a lot of bullshit in their careers, and that they feel unsatisfied by their involvement with the 'War on Drugs', but you cannot make a book out of complaining. There are no positives brought up in this book. Levine only continues to complain about how dissatisfied he is with the DEA and other agencies that tie into the drug market. I would think - and honestly it would be a comfort to me - that while billions of drugs are still smuggled, that while thousands of people get off on their charges, he was able to stop even one thousandth of it. Neither you nor the system is perfect. You cannot expect it to be so. Reading Levine's work feels like those moments when I lose my grip on sanity and my thoughts begin spiraling thanks to depression. It's a whirlwind of pessimism from a man who no longer knows how to hope and isn't interested in hearing suggestions for how he could have tried something different to be more satisfied with his work. Aside from a few typos and that the man believes italicizing everything is a way to save this book, there is nothing else to talk about. This book makes Levine sound like a paranoid nut. I cannot recommend this book to anyone. There's no story, there isn't a nod to those he believes are making a difference, there's not even a suggestion as to how the DEA and other government agencies can improve their anti-drug programs. There is no happiness here, just sad. By on Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/jsb74ze
I'm not much of a fisherman. The only fishing I've ever done was with my father when he was in better health and I was a little girl. I picked this up because, while I know jack all about fly fishing, I thought it'd be a nice reminder of those times with my father. The first thing I notice about this book is that there seem to be several blank pages. Are these meant to be illustrations? If so, there's nothing there. If they're not illustrations, then they should be deleted. The next thing I notice is the one thing that I absolutely cannot stand in books, and that is the use of needlessly complicated sentences. Take this one for example: "Later, I related my tale of frustration to my father. He scratched his chin and thought for a minute in his usual studying on the dilemma pose..." This is such a contrived way of saying he told his father about fishing at the brook and his dad thought about the problem. It's not clever, it's annoying. If you use normal wording, it will be far easier to understand. Also, after coming to this masterpiece: "...not those hot ones where the only place ya want-a be is down at the drug store having a cherry coke and sneaking peaks at the counter girl’s chest, wondering if they really are that pointy." I can say, without question, this book is only for straight men who have nothing better to do with their time than to be perverts and highly rude to women before she calls the police on them. It's offensive and creepy. Also, the line after that, when the character Chick makes a comment, the story randomly tosses in script format. Why not stick to normal prose format and have: "Jeez, Art, where do you come up with this stuff?" Chick asked. Written as it should be, the reader will still understand that Art's story has ben interrupted. Another story structure issue seems to be strange hyphens in the middle of words, such as 'inspiration' becoming 'inper-ation'. I can accept Turing 'what of' into 'what-a' a few lines earlier, as people often turn 'of' into 'a' or 'uh' when speaking, but otherwise, this looks like the story was written in another program and then was ported over, hyphen and all, to pdf. I can only assume that the original program took the word and hyphened it to maintain line appearance, as can happen in books when a word is separated. Then there's this: "I had one of those moments of inspir-ation. They got me in trouble more times than not in those days.” Chick got up and headed for the coffee pot. “Huh, some things never change.” New action that interrupts the current action should always start a new paragraph. Also, anytime you write a word that ends with -ing, but drop the 'g', you need to place an apostrophe there. For example, if the word is "fishing", then you need to write "fishin'". Honestly, if you are going for an accent, it's better to give a character a quirk as opposed to making strange punctuation decisions. Like constantly drop 'g' in -ing words. Or simply use 'a' all the time in place of 'of'. You want to push the idea of an accent without sacrificing sentence structure. If you do, you will immediately lose your audience as they stop to decipher what you have written. If it continues to be too difficult to read, then people will drop your book. Lastly, concerning grammar and sentence structure, do not use the same word so soon after using it once before. Saying 'treating us to a wonder of fall foliage spilling over the overhanging rocks' is not enough time to use 'over' again. The sentence should read 'fall foliage spilled across the overhanging rocks'. You can phrase it how you'd like as long as the wording doesn't become redundant. If you don't want to use swearing, then don't put it in your story. There are perfectly fine adult men who do not swear. Censoring the characters makes the writing look childish and cartoonish. Better ways to have a character swear, but not swear, is to simply have something interrupts his dialogue. Maybe a huge fish just got away and the scene goes: "Son of a bi-Hey! Dog, what are you doing with my tackle box? Get away from there!" Over all, the biggest issue with An Angler's Tale seems to be with grammar and structure. The author needs to sit down with a list put together by an editor so that they can make changes and ask why what they did is wrong, thus learning from what he did wrong. I think more time learning how to write creatively and coherently would serve the author well for future books. As it stands, I cannot recommend this book to anyone outside of fly fishing. You will be uninterested and bored to tears. There's terminology used that goes right over the average readers head and the childish nature of the writing and characters make this impossible to recommend to more mature fly fishers. |
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